so much had happened lately.
my class ended at 3..let me use this free time to blog in school before tuition at 5pm.

the saddest of all is definitely losing my aunt.
my aunt has got cancer but it was under control and that it break off again.
we visited her just last Sunday at her place..
she looked...or rather she don't look like herself anymore.
skinny..weak..expressionless..pale...in pain.
somehow i feel that she is still strong and holding on but its just that she can't make it physically.
her organs can't function anymore..
she is not taking in anything, not digesting the food and medicine..
all she do is vomit and still vomit.
there is nothing we can do but sit down and watch her..
the next day i got a call from my mum that she's gone.

the first thing that comes to me is that 'i just saw her ytd' and she is gone now.
because the docter said '3 mths' . that's why i was shocked
however, on a positive thought, she don't have to be in pain anymore.
i almost wanted to tear in the train.

my aunt is always so beautiful, in cheog-sum during cny, all dolled up.
months ago, she celebrated anniversary with my uncle..
she is beautiful, always with smile, looking very happy..a very nice and generous person.

i'm glad that her kids had grown up..
and all with kids already.. :)
Rest in peace.

my mum says that we won't have ching-teng this cny already..

ok, enough about this.
what's gone is gone..
but she will be missed. <3>
dad's car costs $600+ a month. darly will pay the insurance and road tax, etc etc for him which makes $400. dad will pay ard $200 i think. or is somebody paying for him? i'm not sure.

and that bastard owes daryl $ too. daryl said that he lost 10K+ on soccer in the past..daryl borrowed him $ and he haven't finish paying up.
one day he called daryl and asked him if he will borrow him $ for marriage.
daryl told him yes but its only for the banquets and he is going support his own family.

and me? ok, i still owe him 4.8k for the sem's fee. @$@#^$%*^
so thats why i can't afford to fail any of the modules.
i seriously hate this.

i wonder how much did each of us owe him exactly.
sigh.

so he is pressurising me...
i'm one of his investment.. all i have to do is to get my degree
he will get me a job
and then i will start to be like him ? paying this and that ? -killme- :(
i seriously wonder whats going to happen in the near future.
not looking forward to anything good.
i see no chance that i can escape from the bank industry that he wants me to be in.. those fake and mean colleagues that i will have.
can u all just marry me off to a super rich atm...

sigh
sigh
sigh.

everything is not nice..
its not that i still want to have fun at this age.. but everything is meaningless.
i'm not doing any of the things i like.

dance-no
travel-no
tourim-no
service industry (dn) -no. and daryl keeps on saying that i'm like stupid to earn $7.50/hr and not wanting to work at his tuition centre. grr.
heels-no. lousy genes
cab-no
drive-no
not going home for just a night-no
eat biscuits-no
shopping-no

lets see the yes and irritating ones..

read newspaper and follow world news-yes
giving tuitions-yes
back hm early-yes
study-yes. (the bank bank bank stuffs)
eat rice-yes (ya, must be rice..-stupid)

so fuck whose life?