the day started very early today....and it ended very badly too.
MONDAY BLUES ???
most of the times i really do love mondays..
its like the first day of the week..
forget about what happened last week, and look forward to tue, wed, thur and so on..

but i hope that its not Monday today...
cause i don't feel motivated by anything at all today for me to look forward to the coming days..
ALL I WANT TO DO THE WHOLE WEEK IS TO STAY IN MY ROOM !!!

i'm don't feel like studying at all on any of the days in sch or anywhere.. maybe its time to call upon starbucks gang..where lots of laughter will make the studying part easier and motivate one another..

i'm also not looking forward to work on both wed and fri as they had put me to be cashier.
ok, i know its me who wants to learn to work as cashier...BUT..after having to pay $200, i kind of fear making mistakes again.
but its a FRIDAY night you know!!! where are the tables are full..the bar and floor staffs are busy with the drinks and orders.. and THERE IS ONLY 1 CASHIER, ME!
and everybody wants me to hurry up, do the food orders, give discounts, void this and that, close the bills.. and with that credit machine functioning so slow. WHAT DO U WANT ? -sigh-
somebody tell me i can do it pls.

monday really don't used to be like this...
maybe i should start to understand that things don't remain stagnant..
and i had to move on with it..
but i still prefer the old days.

so i cabbed home from school..and in my mind, i kept thinking if i should find a place to sit down or go home..
no decision..so i just loiter around and still trying to come to a decision.

i thought of going to my sis's hse but i don't feel like disturbing them..maybe they are having a bonding session? or watching tv together, relaxing..

i thought of going my dama's place but i hate to see that idoit. i'll feel worse i think.

i thought of paying my dad a visit but i think i don't really want to see him there working for ppl. i'll feel bad and sad... cause i really don't want him to work for other people anymore at his age.
i want him to retire and relax...and not only come back home in the wee hours, catch a few hours of sleep and leave house again. but i'm not capable to support him yet.. i'm not even confident to say that i can in a fews years down later...

so i sat down near the bball court, and i feel better cause i love the wind blowing me :)
then i decided to come home..
though as usual..she will say that i didn't greet the guests when i do.
argh..its just that u don't hear it! -fedup-
if u think i got no manners or something, of course, they are certainly not taught by u.
but i do have manners..
so mind urs too.

avoiding is so much better than facing.

missyou.